How can there be so much and so little happening at the same time? Politics and pandemic, kids and social media all up in my face, keep it busy to stay sane but it’s better not to go anywhere. Yet there’s only so much busy to be kept when the repetition is all man, woman, person, camera, TV in the house. Everyone’s bullshit is getting bigger but why are the solutions so far away? The sides are building up but the wall is in the middle where we should all be coming together. There’s a hatred that’s getting easier to see and harder to soothe. 

And WTF is happening with this goddamn virus?! Results can be both false and positive, reporting from both sides are hard to believe, rumors of death coming in all covid, PPE is hard to come by unless you ask nicely, to vent or not to vent (it could be the question), beds are running out and we need to wear a mask but wearing a mask violates our rights. I’m so damn confused. 

But in the confusion, there is also clarity. I will wear a mask until we know more. It’s that simple. I will wear a mask, not to be a sheep, but to be more like a parent – make the best decision from the best information that will protect my family and me while also fully acknowledging that I don’t know shit because 2020 is bent. 

And has the emotional war-scape of the Rodney King riots in 1991 really just been reincarnated into George Floyd and Minneapolis? My un-understanding of what was happening then is somehow brought into focus now. Just as autism awareness, vaccination awareness, and cancer awareness, the black lives matter flood of information is intense and sometimes unwelcome. There is just so much to go through, and the stories, experiences and MUST READ posts are so damn demanding. 

But black people are dying by police overreach at a rate that is not equal to any other race, and, in a sad twist of irony, equality is the end goal. I want to read through it all, understand everything, decipher the statistics but there is a point where, unless you’re a die-hard with a bullhorn, the shocking strobe of information becomes background chatter just like everything else. 

Is that what Life is destined to become? We’re walking sponges, soaking up sights and bites as we go, and just as a real sponge, it can be both interesting and disgusting what we leave behind as well as what we carry. So how do we navigate this? Can we go from dirty to sparkling clean as our dishes do, if we properly spend the time reading and processing all of the information we ingest? It seems so logical, comparing Life to washing dishes. Finesse and dexterity are necessary in both, just as dirty water and broken glasses are an inevitability, too. 

But it’s not that simple because there is free will. Free will makes humans loyal but also fickle, it allows us to ponder difficult situations as well as firmly brush them aside, and it enables us to believe what we want to believe. Maybe that’s where I am having the most difficulties. 

In an effort to get along with most people and try to see a way through this great divide, I listen to everyone and everything. Except, when we’ve been taught to keep our views on religion, politics and sex to ourselves in an effort to not start a family war, very few want to step outside their box or debate civilly about things they may disagree with. It’s all my side or the highway, you should do your research because I did mine, go home/you can leave, or bullyish laughter with a side of derision but no accompanying information. It’s true, though, everything is hard to talk about because we are treading on touchy subjects – how to treat people when social norms are very public but currently from an armchair and are changing too rapidly for most to comprehend. 

But what are social norms? Speaking superficially, just as history is written by the winners, social norms are outlined by those who form the biggest majority or have the most sought after status. So when the minority (of race, gender, sex, or opinion) begins to call forth their words and position and truth, it is sometimes hard to hear, hard to understand, and just so different than what’s come before. “We were fine, why do we need to change it now?” 

Because not everyone is happy. Not to say that everyone needs be happy because that’s an impossibility (proven easily since ice cream and chocolate cannot solve the world’s problems due to allergies and dislikes), but when people cannot be themselves when attempting to solve their basic needs of water, shelter, financial stability and love, I believe we as a country should listen. 

Because when the woman’s right to vote had to be written into a law, everyone did not start out as equal. When common law and same sex marriage had to be written into laws, everyone did not start out as equal. Or when disabled people had to lobby for placards and parking spots to be written into law, everyone did not start out as equal. And when the Emancipation Proclamation was written into law, the black man and woman were not automatically nor suddenly equal as if the light of equality had just been clapped on.

What makes our country great is the fact that these marginalized people have been able to make their voices heard and steps have been made to shore up these inequalities. The bygone time where people could say what they wanted, when they wanted, and to whom they wanted without consequence is bye and gone. In some cases, the harm and apathy these winners dealt to other people have lasted longer than the spoils of the fight. Cut and copy to the earth, too – we’re never getting the Sequoias again once they’re gone because time, due to population growth and resource depletion, just isn’t available like it used to be. 

But Trump says we’re winning and Biden says… well, not a lot so far. Oh, look! Isn’t this where I started – how can there be so much and so little going on at the same time?? F***.